In this article, I’d like to explore what I believe are 2 areas of the most damaging lies and why they’re so damaging.
- The lies we tell ourselves
- The lies we SHOULD tell others
I’m not going to get into lies in the areas of politics, culture and the media…That’s a topic for another day.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves Are The Most Damaging Lies Of All
One area of the most damaging lies, are the lies that we tell ourselves – you know, those nasty little lies that say:
“You’re stupid”
“You’re not enough”
“You can’t do that”
“You’re too… fat / ugly / old (fill in the blank!)”
These destructive, demeaning little lies have crept into our day to day moment to moment thoughts and are doing a great job of diminishing our natural joy, encouraging us to hide our gifts and talents, and play small.
These horrid, stinging insults are all lies. But what makes them damaging?These are so damaging lies because they have become a habit. So much of a habit that we continue to accept them without even questioning if they are true for us.
“Above all, don’t lie to yourself.”
The above is a quote from Dostoevsky, which goes on to say:
“The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others.”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
That’s how damaging lies about yourself can be. I’d like to redress the balance and remind you that:
You are gifted
You are enough
You can do whatever you choose to do
You are fabulous exactly as you are.
Pay attention to what you tell yourself and, when you catch yourself in a lie, choose to change your language and break the habit of these harmful lies.
The Lies We Should Tell Others
“Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”
Has it been ingrained in you to always tell the truth?
What if that isn’t always your best option?
Contrary to popular opinion, there are times when you SHOULD lie to others. Here are some examples:
When someone asks you how you are, but they don’t really want to know.
When someone fakes concern about you, but really they’re digging for information that they can use against you later.
When someone asks you a question and you know that the truth would be unnecessarily brutal.
Not all lies are damaging. A lie in these situations can protect either you or the other person.
So it’s OK for you to choose what will work in each situation rather than blindly discounting lies as an option. Not all lies are bad. Some can be an act of kindness and not damaging lies.
Letting go of damaging lies and empowering yourself
Learning to be honest with yourself and stop beating yourself up with those damaging lies will take a little time and attention to your internal words.
By breaking the habit of telling mean and hurtful lies to yourself, you are empowering yourself to step into being more of the gifted, capable and fabulous person you truly are.
There are times when you should lie to others. Don’t make yourself wrong for it. Allow your words to be a kindness to yourself and others.
You, being more of the Fabulousness of you, is a gift that this world requires.
If you’re ready to let go of those damaging lies you used to tell yourself and discover more about how truly Fabulous you are, head over and take The Fabulousness Quiz today: Click here